What Middle Schoolers Want to Know About Love & Dating (Part 2)

by on in Experience.

Yesterday I shared with you PART 1 of some questions that our middle schoolers (Grades 5-8) asked anonymously about love and dating. If you haven’t checked it out yet, you should. Because their questions were awesome. And super interesting.

You may have noticed that many of the questions our students asked yesterday were pretty light-hearted. Silly. Naive. Childish. Cute, even. But I think you’ll see that, in this next batch of questions, the tone shifts a bit.

So let’s get into PART 2 now. Here are our middle schoolers’ questions about “serious” relationships, marriage, and divorce…


  • What are some good qualities we should look for in a boy/girl?
  • Should you date one of your friends?
  • What are some standards you would recommend having in your relationships?
  • How do you know when you’re in a serious relationship?
  • What does a good relationship look like?
  • Is it bad to not save your first kiss for your husband/wife?
  • What’s it like to fall in love?
  • Why does God make us wait so long?
  • Why does the Bible say it’s bad to lose our virginity when we’re not married?
  • Why does God say it’s “sexually immoral” or whatever to to be with more than one person?


  • How old should you be when you get married?
  • Why is marriage important?
  • What does a good marriage look like?
  • Why do divorces happen?

Did you notice the shift in tone from the questions I shared yesterday?

These questions aren’t silly or childish.
They’re heavier.
Many of them clearly have stories behind them.
Many of them hint at deeper questions, struggles, and doubts.

Our middle schoolers might be wondering how to tell that girl in math class that she’s cute. But they’re also wondering if God can really be trusted. 

They want concrete black-and-white answers, like the right age to start dating. But they’re also learning to think abstractly, as they weigh issues like boundaries and purity and why sometimes marriages fall apart.

There’s a lot going on in those little minds, and hearts, and lives, huh?

What conclusions would you draw from the questions our students asked? What implications do these questions have on us, as ministry leaders?